Twenty-Four

blogger-image--115825469

So tomorrow is my twenty-fourth birthday. If I could use one word to reflect on the year that has passed between my twenty-third birthday and now, it would be strength. I have found a strength that helps me to get back up when I fall. I have found an inner strength to do what I know I am meant to do, teach. The road to being a teacher is going to be a hard one but I know that my passion, dedication and strength will get me there.

I have also realised the importance of gratitude and appreciation of the little things that make me happy. It isn’t easy for me to be positive but I always try to think of at least three things I am grateful for each day. No matter how bad my day may be or how I feel about the direction of my life, I always try to step back and evaluate the blessings in my life rather than the imperfections.

Some days I do feel stuck, like the world is passing me by, the clock is ticking and I am no closer to getting the life I want, but I am learning now to stop, notice my negative thoughts, then change them. This is something I learned in therapy and I am starting to slowly apply it to my life.

I have to keep telling myself that my life path has its own timeline and what may take someone one year to do, may take me five, but it doesn’t matter. I strongly believe that in life ambition will lead you to success, perseverance will lead to positive actions and positivity will lead you to happiness. I remind myself on a daily basis of my goals and I always see each day as another small step towards achieving them.

My challenge for myself during the next year of my life (before I reach the grand old age of 25) is to start living in the present moment. This is something that I struggle with and is the root cause of my anxiety. With a combination of studying Buddhism, meditating and practicing yoga, I am slowly but surely on the way to learning how to be mindful and just ‘be’.

Another challenge in my path this following year will be balance. I know that when I start my teacher training in September (if I pass this maths test), I will struggle with the work-life balance. Finding time to relax and enjoy life, with the chaotic, stressful and challenging year of studying, working and learning.

Whatever happens in the 365 days between now and my twenty-fifth birthday, I hope that I find joy in the little things, I hope I learn to believe in myself more, to laugh, love and live each day with a positive attitude because life is passing me by and I don’t want to waste any more time worrying about things I can’t control or choosing to live an unhappy life or surrounding myself with people that don’t allow me to be the best version of myself.

Advertisements

Good Things Come To Those Who Work Hard

goodthings

Today is the day I’ve been waiting for, I’ve finally got a job. It’s been a year since I graduated university with a degree in Creative Writing and it’s been a tough year with a lot of rejection and a lot of disappointment but perseverance has finally paid off. When they say good things come to those who wait, it’s true but you also need to work hard and not expect anything to be easy. When I left university, I was blindly optimistic and perhaps a little naive, I thought I would get a job straight away. It’s fifteen months later and I’ve finally landed to job that I wanted. I am finally going to get paid to write. Good things are finally happening for me.

It’s been a long year and I have struggled with having no money, no job and no sense of purpose. There were some days that I didn’t want to get out of bed because I didn’t see the point. I was frustrated by the lack of momentum in not just my career but my life, I felt stuck. However, I managed to live day by day, I did my best to stay positive and I never stopped believing in myself. Now I can say that I have made it through. Years of working for magazines for free and now I will be paid to write for Female First, an online magazine that I previously worked for two years ago. They were impressed with me during my internship and contacted me directly when the freelance position came available. I believe that this will be a great opportunity for me and it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

I am learning that if you really want something in life you have to stay positive, work hard and believe that you can do it. I still have a long way to go, I don’t know where I will be working or what I will be doing in one year, five years or even ten years but if there is anything I have learnt from being in limbo waiting for a job it is this, you have to live day by day. Think about the future sometimes but don’t focus too much on it, don’t dwell on what you don’t have, what you haven’t achieved and what you will never be. Focus on being present, live your life with a positive attitude and be grateful for what you already have.

Twenty Two

1186510-bigthumbnail

Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday.

I was re-reading my post Twenty that I wrote two years ago today. I remember writing it like it was yesterday. I am still the same person that I was when I wrote that blog post, I still have the same dreams and I still believe that turning twenty was a defining moment in my life. Since then I have graduated from university, I have visited Dublin with my boyfriend, I have started an internship at VIVA magazine and I have started to make plans for my future.

Honestly, it has been a hard two years, there have been a lot of struggles but everything I go through is making me a stronger person. I’m trying to live my life day by day instead of year by year but my mind always wanders to the future. I’m a dreamer, I always have been and always will be.

Another birthday is passing by and I might not be where I want to be but I have to be patient, I have time. I have years to accomplish everything I want to do. I am enjoying my life right now. I might not have a job or enough money to buy the things I want to buy and go to places I really want to go to but I am surrounded by love. I have to believe that my future will be bright. I have to believe that things will get better and I have to believe in myself.

If there is one thing that changes every year on my birthday, it’s my perspective. Whenever my birthday approaches, I look at life in a different way. I look back on the year that has passed and what I have achieved in that time. Life is a journey and sometimes we don’t appreciate moments until they are memories. I’m going to start enjoying the present. I’m going to be patient and grateful, I am going to smile even when I feel like I can’t and I’m going to keep hoping and dreaming that I will make it to my next birthday and I will be one step closer to my dreams and one step closer to the person I want to be.

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles Must Begin With A Single Step


yogaa
‘Peace comes from within.  Do not seek it without.’ – Buddha

I have heard many things when it comes to yoga and meditation and I have to admit it, I was definitely a sceptic. I refused to believe that sitting down and focusing on your breathing for ten minutes could release all of the toxins and the bad energy from the body.

Today I decided to stop talking about yoga and start doing yoga. I have always had an interest in yoga and meditation but never really pushed myself to actually do it. I am so glad that I finally motivated myself. I have suffered with anxiety for numerous years, it crept up on me one day when I was at college and it has lingered over my head ever since. It only takes something small to trigger it, whether it be the stresses of university work, family worries or relationship struggles – my anxiety takes over. My heart beats increases, my chest tightens and I feel like I lose control of my positive thoughts. I sometimes get frustrated because I can still get anxiety symptoms when I don’t have anything stressful on my mind.

Here is where yoga comes in. I didn’t expect a permanent solution, I just wanted an outlet. I also have a hip condition so the idea of yoga has always seemed like an impossible achievement for me. I decided to give it a go anyway and in the process of experiencing yoga, I found meditation. I struggled to let go of the tension that built up in my mind and my body. I didn’t believe that meditation would work, but it did. I entered a trance-like-state without even realising it. I focused on my breathing, inhaling and exhaling. That’s all that I needed to think about. I cleared my mind. My eyes closed. I felt at one with myself. When I had finished I felt revitalised and free of anxiety and tension.

Amazing right? The lesson I have recently learned is a journey of a thousand miles must being with a single step. You have to try new things and find your true self. Take that first step and you may discover something great. I just hope that I stick to my yoga and meditation. I frequently go through phases of doing things. I learn a new subject or skill, I am fascinated by it and for a while it is my new favourite thing until it fades into obscurity. I get bored easily but I feel different about this. I believe that yoga and meditation will help me in every aspect of my life and I am determined to carry on doing it. It is a discipline that I feel that I need right now. I am going back to University in a few weeks and I don’t want the ghost of my anxiety to return. I haven’t had an attack in about six months. University is the number one trigger but now I have my new tools to help me cope. Yoga and meditation will hopefully help me control my worries and my anxious thoughts. I am confident that this is the beginning of a new spiritual journey, something great, something peaceful, something new.