Experience · Life

What Am I Searching For?

What am I searching for?

This is a question I am currently asking myself but I don’t have the answer. For as long as I can remember, I have been chasing success. Studying, learning, training, getting qualifications, searching for the ‘perfect’ job. But the truth is. I am exhausted. I am tired of chasing ‘dream jobs’, only to find they are not what I thought they would be. I am tired of adding more and more pages to my already long CV. I no longer want to feel lost and confused, desperately seeking a place where I belong. I am tired of searching for the successful career that I believe will finally make me happy.

What if all I really want is a simple life?

In a world where you can do ‘anything.’ I feel suffocated and constrained by the societal structure we have in our western society. You know the structure – go to school and get a good education, work hard and get good grades (these will inevitably define the rest of your working life, but no pressure), go to college, attend university (don’t dare to do a degree that will waste your time eg: anything creative or vocational, you don’t get unlimited chances), get a job when you graduate (and become a functioning adult in society, even though you were never taught the REAL skills you actually needed), then work, work, work, pay taxes into a pension (that you will probably never get), then work a little more until your health declines and you can’t work no more. That’s it. That is your life. But it doesn’t need to be this way.

I have been stuck on the career hamster wheel for years now, giving everything I have, trying three different industries to become what society defines as ‘successful.’ But you know what? I don’t think I want it any more. I am starting to wake up and realise that there are other ways to be successful in my life and that my health and happiness need to come first before any job. I am becoming more aware of the link between my ongoing unhappiness and my need to be the best at everything.

We are all stuck in this abiding loop of always wanting and needing more.

Showing off about what we have. Craving attention and likes. Impressing our friends and doing whatever it takes to make our family proud. Climbing a metaphorical career ladder to achieve more power. Why?

I’ll tell you why. Fear. We are scared of what will happen if we stray from this structured way of living. Sometimes we need to break the mould and do things differently. We all want to do as much as possible with our lives. We want to live a life without regret. So we work ourselves into the ground to try and achieve the unattainable, quintessential, Instagram-perfect life. We go where the money is. We either get a soul-destroying job just to ‘pay the bills’ or we nearly kill ourselves training for a job that takes away our right to have a healthy work/life balance.

We spend so much time trying to get ahead that we gloss over the importance of what really matters.

I have focused SO much energy into finding my ‘identity’, finding the ‘perfect’ job for myself and finding ‘me.’ But I don’t need to. I am me. I always have been. I am constantly adapting, learning and evolving. I am learning to reflect on my past mistakes and learn from them. I am figuring out what makes me happy and what I need to walk away from.

I don’t need a label or a job title to define who I am.

Like a kaleidoscope, my visions for life are always changing. My vision now is to shift my focus towards my hobbies and passions. I am going to keep writing because it is what I love to do. I am going to continue to do yoga because it grounds me, it heals me, it allows me to be closer to my spiritual self. I am going to sing in choir and play my guitar and ukulele. I am going to do the things that make me happy and try and let go of the idea of being successful and having a career. It isn’t going to be easy but nothing ever is.

What am I searching for? Maybe what I think I am searching for, I already have.

I have a wonderful life. I have a place to call home, people that love me and hope in my heart. That should be enough. I need to start appreciating and loving my life instead of obsessing over things I don’t have and goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s time to take a moment and reflect, I need to stop questioning the direction of my life and worrying about what I am ‘meant’ to be doing and just let go, let life happen and trust that the universe will give me everything I need.


Blog Updates

Liebster Award – I’ve Been Nominated!!


The first time I was nominated for the Liebster Award was June last year by Dare To Dream, Live To Write. She said some really nice things about my blog and since then my blog has taken on a different identity, attracted more readers and inspired many people so thank you to KatWilson04 for nominating me for the Libester Award 2015.

Here are KatWilson04‘s questions and my answers:

  1. What cartoon character would you be and why? I would say I’m Tinkerbell from Peter Pan. I’ve been called Tinkerbell quite a few times by different friends growing up. I’m small, fiesty and can be ill-tempered. Tinkerbell has two sides to her personality, she can be jealous and firey but also kind and loving. Minus the blonde hair, I’ve been told by a lot of people that I remind them of Tinkerbell.
  2. One item of clothing you couldn’t live without? Oooh, that’s a hard one. Probably my favourite pair of jeans that I wear most of the time. Although I really love my fashion scarves. I have quite a collection now and wear them with different outfits, my favourite is a pink butterfly one that I have just bought. It’s not the piece of clothing I couldn’t live without per say, but it is my favourite thing to wear right now.
  3. What made you start blogging? We were told in our first year at university on my Creative Writing course that we had to create one for class, so that we could review the books that we were reading but since then AnotherBeautifulRhyme has become so much more than that. It’s a place of expression, inspiration and motivation. I want to inspire people with words, talk about my journey as a writer and talk about my love for yoga and my journey to happiness. I’m really proud of how my blog has turned into something positive and I love seeing how many people like my posts, it makes my day.
  4. What’s the best question you’ve ever been asked and why and what was your response? The best question I’ve ever been asked is if you could live in another era, which one would it be? I love questions like that because I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live in the 50’s, I’m fascinated by that era and although being a woman in that time period was extremely hard, I really love the idea of living in that time, I love the style of music, the fashion and the simplicity of life. I sometimes think I was born at the wrong time.
  5. If you could be part of a band/music group, who would you choose and why? I would be Taylor Swift’s back up singer definitely. I’ve always been a huge fan of hers, I found a video of her playing on YouTube before she was even famous and before she even released her first CD. I’ve been a fan ever since and I feel a connection with her even though we have never met. If she lived next door to me and she wasn’t a famous singer, we would probably be best friends because we are very similar. I would be her back up singer because I feel like I have always been there for her as a fan, so it would be cool to be on stage with her every night and watch her shine.
  6. What’s your favourite recipe, and where did you get it from? I’m not really a cook and it isn’t my recipe but my mother in law makes the best Spaghetti Bolognese. She’s shown me how to make it a few times and I just love it!
  7. If you could move to live in another place or country, where would it be and why? That’s a hard question! I’m one of those people. I’m in love with countries I have never visited and in love with people I have never met. I can’t wait to travel the world, explore new cultures, meet new people and experience new things. I like the idea of Italy, Rome to be exact. There is a romantic notion associated with it and I believe that it would be a great place to live and it would be a great place for a writer to be inspired on a daily basis.
  8. What one thing would you change about the world permanently and why? I would change the way we treat each other, the way the world is divided. Without money, religion, race or class, the world would be a completely different place, a nicer place. I would get rid of these divisions somehow. I have never understood the way the world works and I often dream of a better way things could be.
  9. Favourite animal? I love animals, I have a Guinea Pig called Theo and I adore him, I love dogs, orangutans, elephants, tigers, bears and meerkats. I prefer animals to humans sometimes.
  10. Favourite perfume/fragrance? I love Taylor by Taylor Swift, it smells sweet yet sophisticated at the same time, I love it!
  11. If you could give one tip or one bit of advice to a person, what would it be? I give a lot of advice to other people but rarely follow it myself and I really should. My one bit of advice would simply be this, be happy. Find a way to be happy with your life. We all have problems, challenges to face and things we are waiting for but if you learn to be content with the way your life is right now you will be much happier. Don’t forget to appreciate and love the people around you and most importantly, love yourself.Thank you for the questions KatWilson04! 

    Here are eleven random facts about me.1. My eyes change colour, sometimes they are green and sometimes they are blue and sometimes they are both green and blue (magic!).

    2. I prefer the inbetween seasons, Spring and Autumn. Winter is too cold and Summer is too hot. I love Spring because of the pink blossom on the trees and I love daffodils. Autumn is a beautiful season because of the orange and red leaves falling to the ground.

    3. I started writing poetry at the age of five, yes really, I found one of my old poems and I was five, nearly six when I wrote it. I’ve always loved poetry and always been obsessed with rhyme, hence my blog title.

    4. I love pugs! I’ve always wanted a dog growing up and I really want a pug and hopefully, when me and my boyfriend get our own house in the future, we can have a pug or maybe even two!

    5.  I am the world’s biggest procrastinator. I want to write, I let ideas float around in my mind for weeks before I actually write them down. I start the day with hopes of writing my novel ideas down and writing poetry but I always end up watching Pretty Little Liars or searching for new music on YouTube.

    6. I always want to learn something new, I taught myself how to play the guitar and keyboard and I have recently reached level one in British Sign Language and I really love it. I’m not sure what the next thing will be, maybe I will learn Spanish or learn how to draw.

    7. My favourite colour is Green.

    8. I love old music, anything from the sixties, seventies, eighties or nineties. I prefer it to modern music.

    9. I wear glasses, I can’t see anything clearly without them.

    10. I started doing yoga over a year ago and it has changed my life. I practice Hatha Yoga and also love to meditate.

    11. I play acoustic guitar, keyboard and sing.

I nominate…

AHeartAFire
SendSunshine
LifeIsGolden
JennyInNeverland
InsaneOwl
LemonsAreSweet
CatLumb
SheWritesOfLife
LittleOnionWrites
BookBooster
TheBookKitten

Here are your questions:

1. What’s your favourite season of the year and why?
2. Where do you see yourself in ten years time?
3. What’s the meaning behind your blog name?
4. What’s your favourite thing about life?
5. If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be and why?
6. Which three novels would you recommend to your friends?
7. What is your biggest dream?
8. What is your biggest fear?
9. What’s your favourite thing about yourself?
10. If you could be any person for one day, who would you be and why?
11. Why do you love to blog?

Six Simple Rules Of The Liebster Award