Writer's Life

Writer’s Block Or Life Block?

typewriterrrr.jpgI was reading Writing Magazine a few days ago and came across an article about writer’s block. It’s something I have always struggled with. I go through phases of no writing at all and I always blame it on writer’s block, I either have too many ideas and can’t seem to pick one or unfortunately, sometimes, I have no ideas at all.

I’m sure all writer’s can relate to this, the ongoing struggle to get the beautiful poetic voice in your head to somehow find its way to the page, to find the right words and put them in the right order and to finally turn an idea into an actual story. However, I’m starting to realize, after reading this article mainly, that it may not be writer’s block.

Every writer has their ‘perfect mood’ to write. Some wait until the world is falling apart around them to finally get a poem on the page and some have to be in a happy state of mind to even consider putting pen to paper. I am the latter. I’ve been through a lot of personal struggles and during this time, I haven’t been writing. Now I feel I am moving away from the shadows and finally feel myself again, I want to write.

Strange isn’t it? Maybe I was intentionally choosing to let life block my writing muse? The events of my life were forcing me to ignore the writer in me. I was so focused on just getting through each day and understand the range of emotions I was feeling. I was failing to do the one thing that helps me get through almost anything and that is to write about it.

I feel like my ongoing battle with depression and anxiety has not only killed my happiness, but my confidence too. I had no belief in myself that I could write anything good, so I didn’t write at all. Silly really. I shouldn’t care if my writing is good or not, I should do it because it’s what I love to do. Only now that I am on the other side of a long, dark tunnel, do I actually see what I have been doing all of this time.

Now, I don’t know if this feeling of being myself will last. So I’m going to make the most of it. My typewriter is sitting on my desk, waiting for me to carve words from my mind and piece together something beautiful. I’m going to do what I do best, I’m going to write and no amount of self-doubt is going to stop me, not this time!

Advertisements
Opinion

Love

love

 Love is stronger than momentary hate.

Love can do extraordinary things to a person. No one in this world is perfect, we all have our flaws and insecurities and we all have our own demons and selfish desires. But love changes you. When you fall in love you see perfection, no matter how hard you try to hate that person you just can’t. You may feel hate for a moment, you might feel angry or hurt or guilty but love soon bounces back like an elastic band. It’s like your heart is too invested in the love it feels it can no longer feel the opposite emotion.

I am a very fortunate person because I have experienced love, I am still experiencing love. It confuses me, even now. All it takes is one second, for your heart to be left open. For the right person, the right moment. You breathe in, you breathe out and you’re in love. It’s that simple. Well, that’s how it happened for me anyway but maybe love is different for everyone.

No one knows if they are ready for love, it just happens. In fairy tales and films we don’t see the darker side of love. I am not talking about the opposite emotion hate, I am talking about the other emotions that come with love. Guilt, jealousy, paranoia and fear – just to name a few. Love is something that I am fortunate to have though. Despite the downsides to falling in love and the downsides to being in a relationship, I am lucky.

A lot of people go through their entire lives searching for love, searching for that one person that makes them feel whole. Love can be dangerous because there is always that worry in the back of your mind – what if I lose that person? What if I get my heartbroken? Well, that’s just a risk you take. There are a lot of risks you have to take to accept love into your life.

Forgiveness is just another part of love, for a relationship to work you must have trust and forgiveness. If you have neither then be sure to have your heart smashed into a million little fragments because the love will definitely not last. Like a pyramid, forgiveness and trust have to support love to keep it in the air. I am a very forgiving person and I believe that everyone makes mistakes and sometimes you have to accept those flaws in a person. I love this wonderful person. He is smart, kind, funny and charming. Everything I have ever wanted and he makes me feel safe and loved.

However, I don’t like it when we fight, the heat rises, words are sharp and fists fly but that rarely ever happens. But when it does it could ruin everything that we have in an instant. I am willing to stay with the one I love because even though there are those times, where tears are shed and unforgivable actions occur – I love him. And love is stronger than the momentary hate you feel in that moment. Love is stronger than everything. If you believe with all of your heart and soul that going with your heart is the best thing – then go with your heart. I have always gone with my heart and it has only lead me down the right path – which is happiness.