milestones

Twenty-Three

23

Tomorrow is my twenty-third birthday. I like to reflect on everything I have achieved birthday to birthday and although I’m not where I wanted to be, I have a lot of things to be thankful for and I have learnt a lot of valuable lessons during the past year.

To begin, I want to take note of everything that has changed in my life for the better. Since my last birthday I have started my own positive lifestyle magazine called Zest For Life. I never thought I would have my own publication, the third issue will be released at the end of next month and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

I have learnt a lot of valuable lessons since my last birthday. After struggling with my career and being unemployed, I finally realised that teaching was what I was meant to do. I’m on the road to becoming a Teaching Assistant and may eventually train to be a Teacher, but I’m taking it one step at a time.

I have become more content with the way things are with my family and realised who my true friends are. I’ve had many dark moments when I felt like giving up but I know now that happiness doesn’t come easy, you have to work hard every day, be grateful and be positive, even when everything is falling apart.

This year I have been figuring out my priorities and deciding where I want to be in five years time and ten years time. I want to travel and live abroad, learn new languages, meet new people and see where this new career in teaching will take me. Having a family of my own is far from my mind and me and my partner agree that we have too many adventures of our own to have before we settle down.

Something that I’m still struggling with is comparing myself to others. Seeing everyone else move forward with their lives – starting families, learning to drive, buying a house and landing their dream job is hard when I’m still stuck in the same place. I’m currently unemployed, I have no money and I’m constantly daydreaming about the life that I could have when I get myself sorted.

The problem is, I have no control over the situation I’m in. It’s not in my hands whether or not someone decides to give me a chance. I just have to keep reminding myself that failure is only a stepping stone to success. I have to keep trying, stay positive and believe that things will get better.

Age may just be a number but our society is built around milestones and I have many that I still want to achieve before I reach my thirties. Being in your twenties is the hardest time of your life, it’s a time to make mistakes, try new things and find what makes you happy. Twenty-Three is another milestone and I can’t wait to see what amazing things will happen in my life before I turn Twenty-Four.

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Opinion

Like My Status, Like My Life

photo of laptop near plant
Photo by Tobias Dziuba on Pexels.com

Facebook is part of our daily lives, it’s a mechanical process to scroll down our newsfeed every morning and see what our friends have been up to, but do we realise the truth behind the façade? Do we have the ability to step away from the virtual world and live entirely in the real one?

Facebook has been around for a while now and it’s no surprise that it’s the most popular social media site, it is a great way to connect with friends and family that you can’t see every day, it enables us to like pages, photographs and statuses and it can keep us entertained for hours. Conversely, there is a negative side to social media and Facebook can be psychologically damaging for many reasons, entertainment can quickly turn into and addiction.

Facebook is also a false elucidation, a prism that only shows the sides of our life that we wish to share with the rest of the world. Unconsciously, we build a fictional wall, on Facebook we show the person we so badly want to be but behind the wall, a flawed person stands with many insecurities about how imperfect their life actually is.

It’s human nature to want attention, we crave it and not everyone will admit it out loud but we all want to be liked. Facebook is a platform for this. People, wait for their friends, family members and even strangers to like the events that have happened in their lives. When somebody likes our photograph or status, we get instant satisfaction. Liking a status means that somebody else, whoever that may be likes you and in that moment, that is all that matters.

Delusion is a side effect of being on Facebook. There is an unhealthy gap between reality and the online persona that we create online. We might share our engagements, the birth of our children and our new jobs on Facebook but we don’t share our deepest thoughts and feelings, we keep all the important thoughts to ourselves. There is nothing genuine about our online selves, seeing picture perfect profiles doesn’t only create bad self-esteem but can bring other negative emotions to the surface, such as jealousy, resentment and general unhappiness with our own lives.

It’s almost too easy to manipulate others and pretend to be someone that we’re not. Facebook has many advantages but its biggest disadvantage is its ability to blur the lines between fantasy and reality. Social media sites are slowly killing society, the current generation and the ones that follow will no longer know how to communicate and this is worrying to say the least. Facebook and other social media sites have substituted our need for real conversation. I’ve seen it happen, people looking down at their screens at a party because they have no social skills and no awareness of those around them.

How many Facebook friends do you have? Two hundred, three hundred maybe? The important question to ask yourself is how much do you really know about them? You might know their job status and that they have been in an on and off relationship for four years but does it go deeper than that? Do you know their biggest fears? Do you know that they bite their nails when they’re nervous or that they are unhappy with their lives? Facebook creates an illusion that you know lots of people but do you know the real person behind the online façade?

The only way to free ourselves from the grasp that Facebook has is to realise that it isn’t real and it is okay to not be liked by everyone. Facebook can be a great way to connect but don’t forget to connect with real people and live in the present moment. I too am guilty of letting Facebook turn into my whole world when really it should only be a fraction of it.

I know that Facebook is just an illusion and if people want to get to know the real me, then they should look away from my Facebook profile as it only illustrates the highlights that I choose to reveal. Facebook is a great way to document snapshots of your life but as long as you step away from the screen and see the rest of the world around you, well, I guess it won’t do you any harm in small doses. Just remember that life is happening right now, so look up from your smartphone and enjoy it.