milestones

Good Things Come To Those Who Work Hard

goodthings

Today is the day I’ve been waiting for, I’ve finally got a job. It’s been a year since I graduated university with a degree in Creative Writing and it’s been a tough year with a lot of rejection and a lot of disappointment but perseverance has finally paid off. When they say good things come to those who wait, it’s true but you also need to work hard and not expect anything to be easy. When I left university, I was blindly optimistic and perhaps a little naive, I thought I would get a job straight away. It’s fifteen months later and I’ve finally landed to job that I wanted. I am finally going to get paid to write. Good things are finally happening for me.

It’s been a long year and I have struggled with having no money, no job and no sense of purpose. There were some days that I didn’t want to get out of bed because I didn’t see the point. I was frustrated by the lack of momentum in not just my career but my life, I felt stuck. However, I managed to live day by day, I did my best to stay positive and I never stopped believing in myself. Now I can say that I have made it through. Years of working for magazines for free and now I will be paid to write for Female First, an online magazine that I previously worked for two years ago. They were impressed with me during my internship and contacted me directly when the freelance position came available. I believe that this will be a great opportunity for me and it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

I am learning that if you really want something in life you have to stay positive, work hard and believe that you can do it. I still have a long way to go, I don’t know where I will be working or what I will be doing in one year, five years or even ten years but if there is anything I have learnt from being in limbo waiting for a job it is this, you have to live day by day. Think about the future sometimes but don’t focus too much on it, don’t dwell on what you don’t have, what you haven’t achieved and what you will never be. Focus on being present, live your life with a positive attitude and be grateful for what you already have.

Opinion

The F Word

bright-future-ahead

Future. It’s a word that has been circling around my mind a little bit too much recently. My future seemed so far away a couple of months ago, as I sat behind a desk at university, I had it all figured out in my head. I felt optimistic that everything would work out and somebody would give me a job. Well it hasn’t happened yet. I just sit at home all day fantasizing about the life that I will have once someone takes a chance on me and I am earning some real money. It’s frustrating and I’m not the only one who feels this way.

A few weeks ago I applied for a job that I really wanted and I knew that I would be perfect for it. I aced all parts of the job application and interview and I had my fingers and toes crossed tightly for an email telling me that I had the job. Of course life never works out the way you want it to. I didn’t receive an email, a few days later after I contacted them, I found out why I didn’t get it. It wasn’t me they said. It’s another person. They had more experience than me. What?!

It was a junior position that I was applying for. Surely that meant you didn’t need any experience, it was a position to put you on the career ladder. An entry level position made for graduates such as me. I was angry at first because I knew that I was so close to getting the dream job and I knew that I would have to go back to job hunting and sitting at home bored. I am grateful for the many casual writing jobs I have done over the past two years, they have given me great experience and they look wonderful in my ever-growing portfolio but I need a full time position.

I have just graduated university and I should be feeling happy and I do, but this is the first time in my life that I feel really stuck. I’m waiting around for life to happen to me and I have no control over what happens next. I know people tell you that there is more to life than money or a career and you should enjoy the present moment but let’s be realistic here. I need money to pay for things, go out and enjoy myself and I can’t do any of that if no one gives me a job. I’ve applied for dozens of jobs since I finished my classes in April and the one job that I wanted I didn’t get. I honestly feel like giving up some days. Why is it so hard to get going?

I fear the future because I have high expectations on what I want my life to be. I’m not the sort of person who will settle for something because I have no other choice. Although I feel frustrated and fed up about the career part of my life, I know that I will find something. Maybe life has a different plan for me? I might want to be a copywriter but the universe might be telling me otherwise. I have to try and put a positive spin on my position because if I don’t, I will only feel sadness and life is too short to feel that way.

The future feels daunting sometimes and although the uncertainty of it takes me outside my comfort zone, I know that the future will be bright, no matter what happens. Sometimes you have to give yourself a little pep talk. Try to be positive and keep your chin up. I’m trying my best to appreciate the present moments instead of worrying about the future. To do that though I may have to switch my brain off, wish me luck!

Poems

Walking Stardust

dreamcatcher1


Walking Stardust

Breathing in the warmth of your skin,
your eyelashes flutter like petals, sleeping.

I stare into the dusty black room.
Light creeps through the blinds.
Hitting the wall with its luminous glow.

A romantic feeling pulses through the layers of my skin.

I am optimistic that no other being will
make me feel the way you do.

We are walking stardust,
bound together by emotion.

A dream catcher hangs at the end of our bed.
An origin that negativity can be captured
and rays of light can be bestowed upon
a sleeping mind.

It watches, protects, believes
in us.

The infinity of our love,
our connection.
our worth.
our dreams.

This is one of the poems from my final poetry portfolio at university. The poem is in its early stages, we are learning about innovative forms and how poetry can be presented in a different way this year and my idea with this poem, is to write the different stanzas on small pieces of paper, hole punch them and attach them to a dream catcher with string. I will post a photograph in a few months of the final piece but for now… this is the first draft of my poem Walking Stardust.