C is for Children

C

Every teacher teaches for the same reason – the children. It’s all about the children. The workload, the pressures of the job, the data, the headaches are all worth it to see a child progress.

The joy you feel when you see a child have a light bulb moment and everything falls into place in their mind. The happiness you feel when children squeeze you tight and tell you how much they adore you. The pride you feel when children do something amazing because of what you taught them. Those are the reasons you teach. To make a difference and help to raise the next generation of kind, loving and ambitious human beings.

For me, the reason I fell in love with teaching was the children. The pay isn’t amazing, the hours are long and it well and truly takes over your life. However, the children make it all worthwhile. The jokes they tell, the look of wonder in their eyes, their attitude to life and learning. It amazes me how their minds work and they always have the ability to surprise me.

During my teacher training, the only thing that has kept me going is their little faces every day smiling up at me. Whenever I had a bad day or felt too tired to carry on, I reminded myself of why I was doing the job. The children. It really is an amazing career, but you have to be a strong person to keep getting back up when you fall down, you have to be able to think on your feet when everything goes wrong and you need to be able to devote yourself to a life of lesson plans, paperwork and laminating resources.

There will always be days I feel like walking away from it. But I am thankful that I get to spend my life doing what I love…. being a teacher.

 

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Waiting & Wishing

I’m always wishing for something or thinking about something I want. I know that I should appreciate what I already have but sometimes, I find myself stuck in an endless cycle of negativity and hopelessness. I’m tired of struggling. I just want everything to happen. Right now. I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m still waiting for the day that changes everything.

Why is it so difficult to see what is right in front of me? What is this selfish need that all humans have to always want more? I feel like I have fallen into the same trap that everybody else falls into. I have it imprinted in my mind that the only way I am ever going to live a happy life is to get everything I want. But I know deep down that none of it really matters.

I have a long mental list of things that I want to complete, I want to have lots of money and own expensive possessions, get my a dream job, be able to travel the world and possibly have a family of my own one day. But do I really want all of that? More importantly, do I really need all of that? Or is society’s influence so strong that I don’t know the difference between what I really want and who I want to be and what society expects of me?

Dreaming is an important part of living. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for a better life and wishing for good things to happen but when they start to control your overall happiness, it becomes a big problem. And it’s starting to become a big problem for me. I’m only twenty one years old, why do I feel this pressure to achieve everything and have everything I want right now? I blame society. I blame social media. I blame the high expectations that are set by others. I also blame myself for succumbing to this toxic way of thinking. I don’t need to follow any guidelines, my life is not going to be the same as anyone else’s, I need to start believing this.

I try and switch off and embrace the day, live my life and stop worrying about the future but it’s hard. None of us know how much time we have and I think that urgency causes this need to want everything right now. I want so many things. Maybe I should start focusing on what I need? I already have everything I need. I have amazing friends, a family, a loving partner and a home. I am more privileged than most but I fail to see how lucky I am on a daily basis. I am surrounded by love, I experience happiness every day but I don’t realise it because it is clouded by the pressures of the future and everything I have yet to achieve and material possessions I have yet to own.

I need to stop thinking of happiness as a goal. Life is a journey and finding happiness is part of that journey. I’m not always going to be happy. I’m going to have days that I feel so bad about my life that I won’t want to get out of bed in the morning and that’s okay because there are plenty of days ahead of me that I will experience joy and contentment. I might not be where I want to be right now but I need to start enjoying the present and stop fretting about the future. I’m not perfect, I’m going to make lots of mistakes, I’m still young and I still have so much I need to learn about this crazy and perplexing thing we call life.