milestones

The Need To Succeed

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Energy and persistence conquer all things – Benjamin Franklin

I may have lost my way for a while but I now feel back to my old self. My ambitious, hard-working and motivated self that wants to succeed. I have so many projects and exciting opportunities happening right now that I haven’t even had the time to blink and really think about how far I have come in the past month.

Persistence is something that comes naturally to me. Sure, I can give into the temptation of being lazy for a day and say that I will do something tomorrow but in the back of my mind, it all keeps on turning. Like an old grandfather clock, my mind never stops. The hand always goes round and round and even when I don’t think I’m thinking about everything I have to and want to do, it’s still there, encouraging me to keep going. I have this ongoing need to succeed.

I want to update this blog as much as I used to but there are not enough hours in the day to achieve everything I want to and I have to learn to prioritize. In the last few weeks I have managed to land myself a paid part-time freelance writing job, volunteer at a hostel as a mentor in Creative Writing, sign up to be a volunteer at The Manchester Literature Festival and start my own online magazine Zest For Life. It’s in the very early stages but please follow the Zest For Life Blog here.

Adding to that I have a novel that is still stuck on 4,000 words because I haven’t had the time to focus on it. I am still writing short stories and poetry for collections that I will put together one day in the future. I still contribute articles for two online magazines and I also have this blog. If that wasn’t enough, I’m also signing up for a night class once a week, the class is being taught by a successful author who will be teaching the different ways to publish your writing.

I know I have a lot of things going on in my life right now but I like to be busy. The days were so long when I had nothing to do and no motivation to start anything new. Now, I feel my old self again. I am ready to take on anything life throws at me. I still think about the future but I am really in love with my life right now.

There’s a burning passion inside of me for words. I want to write. I want to be a successful writer. One day I want to be a successful author. I want an amazing career. I want to complete all of the projects that I have set for myself. I want to take every opportunity that comes my way. I want to succeed and I’ve decided to start enjoying every second of my life.

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milestones

Twenty Two

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Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday.

I was re-reading my post Twenty that I wrote two years ago today. I remember writing it like it was yesterday. I am still the same person that I was when I wrote that blog post, I still have the same dreams and I still believe that turning twenty was a defining moment in my life. Since then I have graduated from university, I have visited Dublin with my boyfriend, I have started an internship at VIVA magazine and I have started to make plans for my future.

Honestly, it has been a hard two years, there have been a lot of struggles but everything I go through is making me a stronger person. I’m trying to live my life day by day instead of year by year but my mind always wanders to the future. I’m a dreamer, I always have been and always will be.

Another birthday is passing by and I might not be where I want to be but I have to be patient, I have time. I have years to accomplish everything I want to do. I am enjoying my life right now. I might not have a job or enough money to buy the things I want to buy and go to places I really want to go to but I am surrounded by love. I have to believe that my future will be bright. I have to believe that things will get better and I have to believe in myself.

If there is one thing that changes every year on my birthday, it’s my perspective. Whenever my birthday approaches, I look at life in a different way. I look back on the year that has passed and what I have achieved in that time. Life is a journey and sometimes we don’t appreciate moments until they are memories. I’m going to start enjoying the present. I’m going to be patient and grateful, I am going to smile even when I feel like I can’t and I’m going to keep hoping and dreaming that I will make it to my next birthday and I will be one step closer to my dreams and one step closer to the person I want to be.

Opinion

Waiting & Wishing

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Photo by Acharaporn Kamornboonyarush on Pexels.com

I’m always wishing for something or thinking about something I want. I know that I should appreciate what I already have but sometimes, I find myself stuck in an endless cycle of negativity and hopelessness. I’m tired of struggling. I just want everything to happen. Right now. I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m still waiting for the day that changes everything.

Why is it so difficult to see what is right in front of me? What is this selfish need that all humans have to always want more? I feel like I have fallen into the same trap that everybody else falls into. I have it imprinted in my mind that the only way I am ever going to live a happy life is to get everything I want. But I know deep down that none of it really matters.

I have a long mental list of things that I want to complete, I want to have lots of money and own expensive possessions, get my a dream job, be able to travel the world and possibly have a family of my own one day. But do I really want all of that? More importantly, do I really need all of that? Or is society’s influence so strong that I don’t know the difference between what I really want and who I want to be and what society expects of me?

Dreaming is an important part of living. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for a better life and wishing for good things to happen but when they start to control your overall happiness, it becomes a big problem. And it’s starting to become a big problem for me. I’m only twenty one years old, why do I feel this pressure to achieve everything and have everything I want right now? I blame society. I blame social media. I blame the high expectations that are set by others. I also blame myself for succumbing to this toxic way of thinking. I don’t need to follow any guidelines, my life is not going to be the same as anyone else’s, I need to start believing this.

I try and switch off and embrace the day, live my life and stop worrying about the future but it’s hard. None of us know how much time we have and I think that urgency causes this need to want everything right now. I want so many things. Maybe I should start focusing on what I need? I already have everything I need. I have amazing friends, a family, a loving partner and a home. I am more privileged than most but I fail to see how lucky I am on a daily basis. I am surrounded by love, I experience happiness every day but I don’t realise it because it is clouded by the pressures of the future and everything I have yet to achieve and material possessions I have yet to own.

I need to stop thinking of happiness as a goal. Life is a journey and finding happiness is part of that journey. I’m not always going to be happy. I’m going to have days that I feel so bad about my life that I won’t want to get out of bed in the morning and that’s okay because there are plenty of days ahead of me that I will experience joy and contentment. I might not be where I want to be right now but I need to start enjoying the present and stop fretting about the future. I’m not perfect, I’m going to make lots of mistakes, I’m still young and I still have so much I need to learn about this crazy and perplexing thing we call life.

Opinion

Like My Status, Like My Life

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Photo by Tobias Dziuba on Pexels.com

Facebook is part of our daily lives, it’s a mechanical process to scroll down our newsfeed every morning and see what our friends have been up to, but do we realise the truth behind the façade? Do we have the ability to step away from the virtual world and live entirely in the real one?

Facebook has been around for a while now and it’s no surprise that it’s the most popular social media site, it is a great way to connect with friends and family that you can’t see every day, it enables us to like pages, photographs and statuses and it can keep us entertained for hours. Conversely, there is a negative side to social media and Facebook can be psychologically damaging for many reasons, entertainment can quickly turn into and addiction.

Facebook is also a false elucidation, a prism that only shows the sides of our life that we wish to share with the rest of the world. Unconsciously, we build a fictional wall, on Facebook we show the person we so badly want to be but behind the wall, a flawed person stands with many insecurities about how imperfect their life actually is.

It’s human nature to want attention, we crave it and not everyone will admit it out loud but we all want to be liked. Facebook is a platform for this. People, wait for their friends, family members and even strangers to like the events that have happened in their lives. When somebody likes our photograph or status, we get instant satisfaction. Liking a status means that somebody else, whoever that may be likes you and in that moment, that is all that matters.

Delusion is a side effect of being on Facebook. There is an unhealthy gap between reality and the online persona that we create online. We might share our engagements, the birth of our children and our new jobs on Facebook but we don’t share our deepest thoughts and feelings, we keep all the important thoughts to ourselves. There is nothing genuine about our online selves, seeing picture perfect profiles doesn’t only create bad self-esteem but can bring other negative emotions to the surface, such as jealousy, resentment and general unhappiness with our own lives.

It’s almost too easy to manipulate others and pretend to be someone that we’re not. Facebook has many advantages but its biggest disadvantage is its ability to blur the lines between fantasy and reality. Social media sites are slowly killing society, the current generation and the ones that follow will no longer know how to communicate and this is worrying to say the least. Facebook and other social media sites have substituted our need for real conversation. I’ve seen it happen, people looking down at their screens at a party because they have no social skills and no awareness of those around them.

How many Facebook friends do you have? Two hundred, three hundred maybe? The important question to ask yourself is how much do you really know about them? You might know their job status and that they have been in an on and off relationship for four years but does it go deeper than that? Do you know their biggest fears? Do you know that they bite their nails when they’re nervous or that they are unhappy with their lives? Facebook creates an illusion that you know lots of people but do you know the real person behind the online façade?

The only way to free ourselves from the grasp that Facebook has is to realise that it isn’t real and it is okay to not be liked by everyone. Facebook can be a great way to connect but don’t forget to connect with real people and live in the present moment. I too am guilty of letting Facebook turn into my whole world when really it should only be a fraction of it.

I know that Facebook is just an illusion and if people want to get to know the real me, then they should look away from my Facebook profile as it only illustrates the highlights that I choose to reveal. Facebook is a great way to document snapshots of your life but as long as you step away from the screen and see the rest of the world around you, well, I guess it won’t do you any harm in small doses. Just remember that life is happening right now, so look up from your smartphone and enjoy it.

Writer's Life

I Love Being A Writer

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I love being a writer. Why you ask? There are many reasons… I love that writers think differently to other people. We see the world in a unique way and we have an ability to create, turn a blank page into something beautiful. Our minds are never empty, we’re always thinking in rhymes and metaphors and we not only want to write, we feel like we have to.

I love being a writer. It’s an amazing euphoria to escape into a character’s world and decide their fate. I love the way words can blend together and inspire others, I love the way black ink looks on a white page and I love the smell of old books and the fresh aroma of a book that has just been printed. I have pens scattered around the house, knowing that inspiration can strike when I least expect it. I could be drifting off to sleep and an idea ignites in my mind like a flame, I have to write it down so I can explore it in the morning.

I love being a writer but sometimes it’s hard. Writers are sensitive beings, we have to keep our emotions at the surface and call us judgemental if you wish, it’s our job to be. We have to analyse the people and the world around us, we have to see the flaws and we live to make assumptions. A person on the bus, a family member or a stranger walking his dog, anybody can ultimately become a character in our minds, so watch out! Writers have a natural curiosity. Being a writer is an important job. We have to create something from nothing. We have to inspire, make readers cry, laugh, smile. We have to paint a picture and make words dance on the page.

I love being a writer. I feel like I am part of a secret club, the non-writers in my life think that I am weird, quirky, posh and emotional but the writers out there know that these qualities are what we all possess. We all have the same burning passion in our hearts. We all hide away in a secluded room and pour our hearts onto a blank page, it’s exhausting, it’s amazing and it’s therapeutic.

I love being a writer.
I love being in a world where words are everything.
To put it simply, I live to write and I write to live.

 

Opinion

Society Has Killed The True Meaning Of Beauty

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Society has not only changed the way we look at the world but the way that we look at ourselves. We live in a society driven by advertisements and media. From a young age we are bombarded with images of the media’s perception of beauty. We never learn the real definition of beauty. Instead we have computer generated airbrushed images forced upon us, our TV screens filled with advertisements for beauty products, they persuade us to buy makeup to cover up our natural beauty.  Our perception of beauty has been distorted by the media and it is only going to get worse. The idea of beauty will never be the same, the damage has already been done.

There are thousands of young girls out there right now, flicking through the pages of their favourite Vogue magazine, hoping and wishing to look like the girl on the cover. It’s wrong. At that age you believe that the images on the cover are the definition of perfect. I know this because I used to be one of them. I was obsessed with the idea of looking like the young celebrities that were the same age as me but were twice as beautiful, with airbrushed skin and fully made faces, I, like many other girls believed it was what they actually looked like. Obviously as I grew up and I discovered the truth but it doesn’t stop the influence that the media has had on my self esteem.

Society would probably say that I am not beautiful. They would say that my eyes were too big, my eyebrows were not perfectly shaped and I had too many curves to even consider being a model. But that’s not true. I used to believe these misconceptions about myself. I would loathe myself in the mirror, wishing I looked like the young celebrities and actresses that I admired. Now of course I have become comfortable in my own skin. Yes, my eyes are big but they are also my best feature. My eyebrows might not be perfect but I have grown to accept them and as for my curves, I like them too. It makes me feel like a woman. Being a size zero is nothing to be proud of.  I recently saw a post on my Facebook news feed of a girl showing off that she finally fit back into her size zero jeans. She was perfectly proportioned before but now, her legs look like barbie legs. It’s ridiculous. No one should be striving to be a size zero, it’s  unhealthy. Surprisingly, a large percentage of men actually say that they prefer curvier women. So eat that cookie girls, it isn’t going to make you fat.

Something that also concerns me is the way that women present themselves in today’s society. They not only believe that makeup and fake tan will make them beautiful but they believe that dressing provocatively is the only way to receive male attention. Of course sex sells and the media knows this all too well. Exposing cleavage, pouting at the camera and wearing leotards and hot pants. This is what the women of today think is sexy. It’s a sad realization that the days of women respecting themselves is officially over. What happened to the image of women such as Marilyn Monroe? A classy, curvy and attractive woman that is still admired today for her natural beauty. One of her most famous quotes states that imperfection is beauty. But why is it every woman is constantly reminded of her imperfections? How are we supposed to be powerful, confident women when all we see is negative images of what beauty is and what beauty isn’t?

I believe that everyone is beautiful. I believe that I am beautiful. That isn’t me being conceited. I believe that I am a beautiful person. I may not have the prettiest face or the smoothest skin but I have a beautiful personality. I know this now. It has took me a very long time to accept myself. But what about the women that can’t accept themselves? They fall into a downward spiral of self-loathing and low self esteem. People are surprised by the amount of young girls with eating disorders. Are you really surprised? With images of what beauty ‘should’ look like forced in their faces, how are they ever going to feel comfortable in their own skin? What little girls don’t understand is the girl on the front cover of Vogue that they admire, that has pins for legs has been edited tirelessly on photo shop after the actual shot has been taken.

I am blaming society for poisoning our minds with their toxic image of beauty. Beauty cannot be defined. Everything is beautiful. Everyone is beautiful. The colour of the sky, the way a flower blooms in the spring and the image of a rainbow – all of these things are beautiful. Everybody believes that the world is beautiful but why can we not accept that every person is beautiful too? Tall, short, fat, thin, freckles, dark skin, light skin, curvy, green eyes, blue eyes, brown eyes, ginger hair, blonde hair, black hair – everyone is beautiful. People will call you ugly but it is society that is ugly, not you. I am going to live my life believing that I am beautiful, I don’t care what anyone else thinks because life is too short to believe that you are worthless. Unfortunately, that is how society makes us feel – worthless. Society has killed the true meaning of beauty.

Taylor Swift hit the nail on the head when she said that ‘Beauty is sincerity. There are so many ways that a person can be beautiful.’ Never believe that you are not good enough. Never look in the mirror and say I hate myself, I am ugly or I am worthless – you’re not. You are beautiful. Believe this and you will live a beautiful life. We live in a society that only embraces their vision of beauty but there are many visions of beauty. Like a spectrum of colours we are all different and we all have our own identities. Don’t let society kill your definition of beauty. See the beauty in the little things, see the beauty in other people and most importantly – see the beauty in yourself.