Lost At Sea

bird s eye view of sea water
Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

I feel like I’m lost at sea and I am barely keeping my head above the water. I kick my legs to stay alive and I can see the sun on the horizon but no matter how hard I try to swim towards it, the waves take me in a different direction. Some days, I feel the warm sun on my face and I believe that I will make it, to where I want to be and other days I feel like I can no longer stay afloat.

Clear blue water, I can see everything around me, the past, the present and the future and the images blur in my mind. I try to look forward, to stay in the moment and forget the past. Why does it feel so difficult to think of it all? My legs are tired and my heart is beating quickly in my chest. What’s the point of all of this? I try and nothing happens. I want to swim straight. I know where I am going but I don’t know how to get there. The waves are taking me away from the control I thought I had. The sun is disappearing and soon it will be just me and the night sky.

When the sky is dark, my feelings are too. Everywhere I turn I see nothing but black water, it swallows me up and I feel so small and insignificant. The moon is high in the sky, it seems so far away. I know that there are people in the world struggling to survive and I should feel happy that there is breath in my body and life in my eyes but sometimes I lose that spark, I lose my light and I give into the temptation of negativity. Wouldn’t it just be easier to not care? To bob along in the waves of life and see where the wind takes me? Why can’t I be free from restrictions? Why can’t I close my eyes, picture a place and be there? The answer is simple. Life is unpredictable like the sea, the waves can pull me in various directions but as long as I keep looking at the horizon, I will be okay.

The waves carry me into morning and the light from the sun gives me hope again, I smile, all I can do is hope that the day will bring me some happiness.

A Change In Direction Or Just A Distraction?

poetry journal

I know I haven’t posted in a while so here we go. First of all, I’ve made some progress with my book! I’ve finished the first draft of my prologue and started the first six pages of my first chapter but I’ve realised recently, that I don’t really have the ambition, the fire in my belly so to speak to want to write it.

Maybe it’s because I know how much work writing a book is and I don’t want to burden myself with that? Especially now I have a job and have that to occupy my time. I’ve decided to start a short story collection – hoping this will be the springboard of inspiration I need.

I already have one story that will be going in the collection called ‘Hush little baby’ and last night before I went to sleep the title of the short story collection popped into my head. I know the theme of which I am focusing on and it’s exciting because I have lots of different and original ideas.

I’ve decided to name the short story collection ‘Unloved.’ That’s all the information I have for now but I can’t wait to get started. I guess it’s okay to put the book on hold and focus on some smaller projects. I will keep you all posted with more details at a later date but for now I better stop writing this blog and go to work. Ciao 🙂