As a writer you have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like your writing or what you have to say. There are the good comments that you receive that make your heart swell with pride, when you realise that you have found the perfect words and when you string them together it says everything that you want to say and more. The bad comments are often constructive criticism and that’s okay because every writer needs it. Whether its just a small criticism or an honest opinion it’s easy to take it to heart but you just have to realise that every criticism you receive will only make you become a better writer in the future. Then unfortunately there are ugly comments or nasty comments, when people go over the line and it becomes personal.
I have been writing music reviews at Female First and I am not a know-it-all when it comes to music, I love most genres of music and I know a vast amount of musical terms but this doesn’t make me an expert. I just get given the CD’s for the week and I have to listen to them and write a review. I got given a CD by an obscure band called Wax Idols, a modern punk band from California. I give every album a chance and I listen to it twice before I start to review it. I didn’t like it. It was that simple. So I wrote an honest review and gave it two stars. It is my job to be honest and to review the music I am given and I did just that. I was going through my reviews on the website and saw that I received two comments on my Demi Lovato album review and they both said ‘Good Review’ This made me smile because it’s proof that I must be doing a good job.
Then I looked at the other review I had done and because I had given it two stars there were several people that didn’t agree with me. Nasty comments that said that I shouldn’t have the job and it was the worst review they had ever read, it did upset me, of course it did. After I got upset about it though I realised that sometimes people are nasty and I shouldn’t take it to heart. If people don’t agree with what I wrote well that’s up to them. I am there to express my opinion. I know that I am a good writer. I just think fans of the band took what I wrote too seriously. I had to write the truth and the truth is I didn’t like it. I have to accept that I will not always get good feedback on my work and if I carry on writing opinionated pieces there are going to be people that don’t agree.
I am okay with that now. Being a writer means that you have to be vulnerable, open and confident about your opinions. You are putting everything you have into your words and when someone doesn’t like what you have to say it can knock your confidence and even though it knocked me down at first I am ready to get back up again.
So yesterday something unexpected happened. I guess I finally realised how horrible some people can be. I mean what sort of person would purposefully hurt someone else, a stranger, someone they had never met? Well, these people exist and I am ashamed to say this person assaulted me whilst I was on the bus. I was getting on the bus, just like I do all of the time, when this girl starts verbally attacking me for no reason, she started to listen to my private conversation that I was having with a friend, she chose to make comments on what I was saying, my appearance and threatened to snap my glasses in half if I carried on looking at her.
I of course asked her what her problem was, I only received more grief. I decided to ignore her from this point by putting my earphones in, but she sat down next to me, tried to take my I pod so I pushed her away. She punched me twice in the face. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t even feel pain. I just froze. Do you know what really disgusts me about this unpleasant experience? It disgusts me that no one, not one person on the bus helped me. Not one. They all just watched. Even when she got off the bus. No one did anything. At this point I had lost all faith in humanity. No one helped me. I felt helpless and I was in shock for quite a while, the update now is that I have filed a report to the police. Hopefully the CCTV has caught her on tape. Even if they do not catch her I am still glad that I told the police.
I guess I have always been the sort of person that walks around in a bubble. Not really noticing things around me. Especially not possible threats or people that are a danger to me. I knew that things like this happened in the world, to other people. But not to me. I never expected it to happen to me. I guess it has made me realise what sort of world we are living in now. It’s a cruel world that is full of cruel people and I really hope that it doesn’t happen to me again. We live in a society now that doesn’t care and it is only going to get worse. I just feel sorry for the next generation and the generation after that. I can’t prepare myself for the unexpected because life just doesn’t work that way. But I can learn lessons. Life is full of lessons. Even if we do not realise what we have learnt from them straight away.
The lesson I have learnt from this experience is to try and be more aware of the world around me. To realise that not all people have kind hearts like me and actually have a desire to help people. People mistake kindness for weakness and I have learnt that I need to stand up for myself a bit more. Be more confident when it comes to confrontation instead of shying away from the difficult situations I come across. Yesterday something unexpected happened and I’m just going to try and forget about it an move on. She didn’t hurt me and I’m probably never going to see her again. I still can’t believe that someone would do that but I guess it’s because I see the good in people rather than the bad and I think, no matter how hard I try – that isn’t going to change because that’s just me.
I may be a flawed human being with my own struggles and my own views on this crazy world but I would never physically hurt another person intentionally. It just isn’t me and I am proud of who I am. I am a good person and even though good people sometimes finish last. Karma will hit that bitch straight in the face one day and I strongly believe that 🙂