Waiting & Wishing

photo of person holding alarm clock
Photo by Acharaporn Kamornboonyarush on Pexels.com

I’m always wishing for something or thinking about something I want. I know that I should appreciate what I already have but sometimes, I find myself stuck in an endless cycle of negativity and hopelessness. I’m tired of struggling. I just want everything to happen. Right now. I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m still waiting for the day that changes everything.

Why is it so difficult to see what is right in front of me? What is this selfish need that all humans have to always want more? I feel like I have fallen into the same trap that everybody else falls into. I have it imprinted in my mind that the only way I am ever going to live a happy life is to get everything I want. But I know deep down that none of it really matters.

I have a long mental list of things that I want to complete, I want to have lots of money and own expensive possessions, get my a dream job, be able to travel the world and possibly have a family of my own one day. But do I really want all of that? More importantly, do I really need all of that? Or is society’s influence so strong that I don’t know the difference between what I really want and who I want to be and what society expects of me?

Dreaming is an important part of living. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for a better life and wishing for good things to happen but when they start to control your overall happiness, it becomes a big problem. And it’s starting to become a big problem for me. I’m only twenty one years old, why do I feel this pressure to achieve everything and have everything I want right now? I blame society. I blame social media. I blame the high expectations that are set by others. I also blame myself for succumbing to this toxic way of thinking. I don’t need to follow any guidelines, my life is not going to be the same as anyone else’s, I need to start believing this.

I try and switch off and embrace the day, live my life and stop worrying about the future but it’s hard. None of us know how much time we have and I think that urgency causes this need to want everything right now. I want so many things. Maybe I should start focusing on what I need? I already have everything I need. I have amazing friends, a family, a loving partner and a home. I am more privileged than most but I fail to see how lucky I am on a daily basis. I am surrounded by love, I experience happiness every day but I don’t realise it because it is clouded by the pressures of the future and everything I have yet to achieve and material possessions I have yet to own.

I need to stop thinking of happiness as a goal. Life is a journey and finding happiness is part of that journey. I’m not always going to be happy. I’m going to have days that I feel so bad about my life that I won’t want to get out of bed in the morning and that’s okay because there are plenty of days ahead of me that I will experience joy and contentment. I might not be where I want to be right now but I need to start enjoying the present and stop fretting about the future. I’m not perfect, I’m going to make lots of mistakes, I’m still young and I still have so much I need to learn about this crazy and perplexing thing we call life.

Blog Update: Scheduled Posts & Busy Days

Hello to my followers, this is just a quick update about my blog and a few changes that will be happening over the next couple of weeks. I currently have busy times ahead. I am starting an internship at VIVA magazine tomorrow, I am still writing articles for The W Review and I also have frequent interviews for paid jobs too. Now, I don’t want to stop blogging, so I came up with a temporary solution, scheduled posting. I have scheduled posts for the whole week, these include inspiring photos and quotes of the day. For now, I am currently leaving the yoga pose of the day and thought of the day segments on hold. I just don’t have the time right now to write them.

I am also aware that I started a writing challenge but never completed it and again this is something I want to carry on when I have more time. I want to say thank you to all of my followers. Another Beautiful Rhyme has turned into something I never expected it to be. I now have 605 followers across social media and have 7,000 hits. Every like and comment makes my day, so thank you for supporting this blog and for liking what I post on a daily basis. I hope you have an amazing day. I will update you all again soon.

Thank you.
Emma-Jane.